I don’t know about you, but I’ve been through many transitions in my life and chances are, this pattern will continue.

Life goes on, things change, and often we find ourselves in uncharted territory.

What is it they say? “The one thing one can depend on is change!” I find this to be true.

Some people are better at going through transitions than others. I’m getting better at it and still . . . When I find myself in the midst of a transition, when nothing is certain and the outcome is unclear . . . anxiety and fear are soon to follow.

The one thing that I’ve learned over the years, is that fighting against fear and anxiety just doesn’t work. How can one fight such elusive foes? Trying to plow through doesn’t work either. We end up exhausted and discouraged

Transition comes with a time line. This time line is different for everyone. Some things will move along faster than others. Unfortunately, we never know how long our transition is going to last.

There are, however things we can do to prepare and make the slow and uncertain time of transition more comfortable and, in many ways, richer. For example, we could:

1. Stop driving ourselves crazy by placing unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Setting goals is great when we are clear about our direction. In transition, nothing is clear. Expecting to know and blaming ourselves for not knowing, will only add unnecessary emotional baggage to our already difficult situation.
2. Start parenting ourselves and be patient and gentle. Transition can be punitive enough. Do we really have to go around pointing the finger and working ourselves ragged? This is a time of learning. Life is trying to show us a different way of doing things.
3. Say no to peer pressure. The most common advice people give is this: “Pick yourself up from the boot straps and get going.” Yeah, sure . . . but go where? There is a time for picking yourself up and going and a time for staying still and waiting for the “GO” sign. Surround yourself with people who can support you without placing their own expectations on you. And, if you find yourself needing to be alone, then be alone. This is a time when you’re your own best friend.

When it comes to transition, slowing down and allowing things to reveal themselves can be counter intuitive but it’s vital! Pushing through, when we’re not ready, will only delay the process and send us back to the beginning. I’ve done that and it’s not fun.

© 2010 Yota Schneider, Open for Success. May be distributed if full attribution is given and copyright notice is included. Contact yota@openforsuccess.com

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