Expectations
2 commentsPowerful word, isn’t it?
Expectations can be good. They point the way, help us make choices, pursue our dreams and know when we arrive at our destination. They serve as markers and define us.
The other side of the coin presents a different picture. What happens when our expectations don’t materialize? People let us down, life goes in directions other than we had hoped for, projects linger and fizzle and time lines stretch.
It may be that our expectations are unrealistic or the timing is not right. Life throws a curve ball and we lose our orientation. Disappointment sinks in and our enthusiasm dwindles.
For some people, that’s the call to making adjustments. Being flexible and changing our perspective can help us navigate obstacles. It allows for making the best of a situation even if it’s not what we hoped for. Not only that, but if we just let it be, the situation may even evolve in even better ways.
For others, adjusting is equivalent to compromise and that’s a “dirty” word. They want what they want and everything short of their expectations can make them miserable. Disappointment becomes a way of being and every little thing that doesn’t come their way leaves them feeling empty. What good is that?
How do we know whether it’s time to move on or push harder? It’s really personal. When things don’t go your way, evaluate. Ask questions.
- What are some of the main obstacles I’m facing?
- What do I have control over?
- What can I do differently?
- Is it a matter of timing or is this expectation of mine completely unrealistic?
- What are my priorities? In this moment, what matters most?
- How is my quality of life affected? Am I OK with this?
Once you have evaluated the situation, it’s time to take a stance. What do you really need or want? It may be time to put some distance between you and your expectations. It may be time to change your course, alter your game plan or reach out. Whatever you decide, own it and move on.
For me, living in disappointment is not an option.
© 2010 Yota Schneider, Open for Success. May be distributed if full attribution is given and copyright notice is included. Contact yota@openforsuccess.com
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Filed under: life balance 
Tags: keeping it simple, life balance, self-care, success
Comments
Comment from Carmen Lund
Posted: September 16, 2010 at 7:53 am
Yota, It took me a long while to understand that word, “expectations.” I thought it was a given to “expect” the life we had as children when we were taken care of by our parents. Now I have found that having and doing what we once did, often does not happen. I am choosing to deal with the reality of my life, rather than the life I “expected” to have.
Comment from Yota
Posted: September 16, 2010 at 10:45 am
Yes, expectations, when unexamined, can lead to all kinds of illusions. Good for you, for standing up to your expectations and not allowing them to rob you from the richness of your life, here and now.